I'm a Godmother!

This past weekend my family packed up our overnight bags and headed to Camp O-AT-KA in Sebago, Maine for Mr. C’s christening. It was a most perfect weekend. Our extended family and many of Sarah and Brian’s (yes her husband is also a Brian) friends joined us from all over to celebrate the occasion.

Sarah and Brian met at Camp O-AT-KA, and spent many of their early summers there, so it was only fitting that’s where the service would be. It was done in a small, rustic chapel on the camp grounds by the camp Chaplain. It was a short and very sweet ceremony. Following the service we all convened in one of the open picnic areas for lunch. Sarah and Brian had commissioned a Mexican food truck for the day – it was delicious and a very creative idea! Hannah made an incredible cake to top of the meal!

Brian "practicing" his feeding skills!
(out of respect for Sarah's privacy I have blurred C's face)

After we were all sufficiently fed, we headed back to Brian’s parents place in Newfield for an afternoon of swimming, boating, horseshoes and plenty of laughter. There was homemade lasagna, bread and salad for dinner and plenty of adult beverages to go around. The weather was fantastic – even with the quick sun shower that drenched a boat full of people J - and the day couldn’t have been more perfect.

The weekend was extra special for me as Sarah and Brian had asked me if I would be C’s Godmother. Of course I said yes – it’s an honor to be asked and I love that little boy so much of COURSE I would take on the role!

But then I started thinking … what exactly is a Godmother?

Catholic Doors defines the role of Godparents as follows: It is their duty to make a profession of faith during the baptismal ceremony for the one to be baptized, when necessary; and thereafter, to assume perpetual guardianship over the baptized and instruct them in the obligations of the Christian life, to insure fulfillment of baptismal vows. This obligation binds only when parents neglect to do their duty or die. Owing to the spiritual relationship which is created, the Church makes definite requirements by law for this honorable office.

My sister, however, defined the role this way: It is your duty to help us raise C in the eyes of God … and to buy him extra presents on his birthday and all holidays.

I know to some the latter might seem as though we’re making a mockery of the role of Godparent, but as people who wouldn’t consider themselves particularly religious that’s what it means to us.

When I was a child my family attended church almost every Sunday. We’d wake up in the morning, get dressed and head to the First Church in Wenham. My sister and I would sit through the first half of church with the adults, then our minister would tell a brief children’s scripture (so we understood what he had said earlier) and then we’d head to Sunday school. When church was over we’d go to the reception hour in the basement of the church before heading to my grandmother’s for Sunday dinner with all our cousins. It was a nice tradition.

As Sarah and I got older, and then Hannah was born, our family went to church less and less. We did however always make sure to go on Christmas and Easter. When we moved to our new home (almost 20 years ago) we left the First Church in Wenham and began attending the First Church of Danvers. Shortly thereafter, Sarah and I thought we were “too old” to have to go to church every Sunday and my mother stopped forcing us to go. She and Hannah continued to attend on a regular basis for another year or so before we all stopped going entirely.

In my teenage years, I felt as though going to church was a punishment of sorts, I had to get up early on a Sunday and sit through an hour of sermon when I’d rather be sleeping! As I’ve gotten older and especially now that we’re having a baby, I find myself wishing I’d continued with my religious education.

When Brian and I got married deciding where was definitely a challenge. His family (particularly his parents) are more dedicated to religion than mine so they really wanted us to get married in a Catholic church; my family didn’t particularly care, however my mother thought it was only appropriate for us to have a dual-officiated ceremony with a minister present as we are Protestant. Ultimately this is precisely the route we went. We were married in the church my husband where was christened , had his First Communion and was confirmed and a local Protestant minister was also on hand. We opted not to have a full mass as my entire side of the church would not have participated. It was a lovely ceremony.

Now as we begin to think about if and when we’ll baptize the nugget I’m starting to feel a level of guilt for not having church roots. I know there will be much discussion surrounding whether we’ll raise him Catholic or Protestant within our families and for Brian and me it’s a tough decision. Neither he nor I would consider us associated with any one religion at this point. We’ve only attended church together a handful of times and the majority of those have been either holidays or weddings. We both believe in God and have our own idea of what that means, but just have not maintained a regular presence. I know his parents will want us to Christen him Catholic (especially since we were married in a Catholic church) and mine would probably prefer we do a Protestant or non-denominational service similar to the one Sarah and Brian had.

One thing we do know is that wherever we decide to do it, will be a church of our choosing. We have talked quite a bit about beginning to attend church now as a couple so that when the nugget is born we’ll have a church of our own. We will not be attending a church that either my family or his are affiliated with. We want/need to start our own traditions and this is as good a place as any to start. Plus, we feel as though when it does come time to baptize the little one we’d like to know the priest/minister that will be performing the service.

Just one more decision in the long list of things to prepare for prior to his arrival!