Summer 2014 Bucket-List

Every year at the beginning of the summer I make a mental check-list of all the things I want to do and see before fall arrives. Sadly between work, family obligations and the many weddings, parties, BBQ’s etc. we have each summer many of those things go un-checked. This year is no different, here we are two weeks into June and I’m already falling behind on my list!

One of my biggest bucket-list items is to really get my blog off the ground, to find a “purpose” for it, a niche in which it belongs and really go for it. That being said in doing some blog-searching I came across Learning By Hart. While our blogs are very different, as are our careers, I couldn’t help but read through it. She too, is a working mom trying to find the balance between her career, her family and the things that make her happy. I spent over and hour reading through her blog posts and finding that we have a lot in common. One post that jumped out to me was her Summer Bucket-List – it is the inspiration for my own list. She narrowed it down to 10 very manageable things that are easily accomplished during her time off from teaching. It inspired me to look at my own list and really focus on the things that are actually attainable in my already very busy life.

 

 

So here they are – my Top Eleven Summer Bucket-List Items (in no particular order)

11. BLOG – see above! J

10. STUDY – yes you read that right. I recently received my study materials for my ACE Personal Trainer Certification. I only have six months to study and take the exam. There are 18 chapters in my textbook, along with online materials and practice tests. If I break it down into months, I need to read three chapters a month – totally doable!

9. MOVE – my husband and I are just two weeks away from closing on our new home (barring anything crazy happening) and we couldn’t be more excited! We have been living with my parents since November and while we are enjoying our time there we are ready to have our own space again. We’ve begun to look at flooring and paint options and are looking forward to making the house our own!

8. TRAVEL – this is the first summer in almost 6 years that my husband has had weekends off so we are hoping to do a few weekend getaways over the next couple months. My grandmother lives on the Cape during the summer so our first priority is to take the CapeFlyer down to visit her. I really want to be able to create some of our own family memories this summer.

7. EXERCISE EVERY DAY – while this may seem like a big commitment I don’t mean “go to the gym” every day, it can be anything from lifting to running to walking to taking a Barre class. I recently purchased a FitBit and have become obsessed with tracking my steps. I walk every day at lunch as long as the weather is nice and Lucas and I walk at night after I pick him up from school. I think it’s hugely important to move your body in an active way as often as possible, not only for your physical health but your mental health as well.

6. HAVE DATE NIGHTS – I am the first to admit that since Lucas was born I have been reluctant to leave him even for a night out with my husband. Time goes by so fast and since we work full time we find that we both want to be with him as much as possible, but we also know we can’t forget about each other. We have a wedding coming up next week and it will be the first time we are really away from the baby for longer than a few hours – I’m looking forward to getting dressed up and dancing with my husband again!

5. UNPLUG – Facebook, Instagram, Blogging, Twitter … yes, I’m obsessed with social media – my husband calls me a “social media whore”. While I enjoy staying in touch with people, updating my blog and Facebook it’s also really important to unplug and be 100% in the moment with friends and family. When Lucas was first born we had an agreement that once we were home phones and iPad were put away and we spent that time together, but slowly as many do we found ourselves hooked right back up. So many nights we’ll be watching a movie and one (or both) of us will be on our phone looking at something online not paying any attention. We need to recommit to unplugging at night and really enjoy our time together.

4. EXPERIENCE LIFE THROUGH LUCAS’ EYES – I don’t want our little boy cooped up this summer. Regardless of the fact that he’s only 9 months and isn’t walking/running/playing yet I really want him to start experiencing the world. I want to take him to the beach and see his reaction when he touches the cold Atlantic for the first time, I want him to see fireworks this 4^th of July, listen to the katydids at night, crawl on the grass, get dirty, swing on the swing-set his father, grandfather and uncle built … just be a kid!

3. RECONNECT WITH FRIENDS (OLD & NEW) – it’s so easy these days to get wrapped up in our personal lives and busy schedules that we lose track of friendships. It’s almost like being selfish is the norm. I want to make a point to actually talk to my friends, not text/email/Facebook; have coffee and walking dates, spend time reconnecting over the things we love. I have amazing groups of friends in my life that I’ve met through different channels and I don’t want to lose sight of them or their importance in my life!

2. READ – I used to be an avid reader. I can get through a book in just a few days. But I can’t even tell you the name of the last book I read. I want to find a good long novel that I can just get lost in. One that I can relax with in a lounge chair while Lucas is napping, one that I never want to see end! (suggestions?)

1. LOVE THE LIFE I LIVE – this one is HUGE for me. As someone that is always on the go, I’ve been known to focus more on “the next thing” rather than what’s right in front of me. Living life that way allows important things, events and people to pass you by without fully appreciating them. I need to learn to take a step back and love every moment of the life I have. Between my job, my incredible husband, my adorable son, my family & friends – what’s not to love? Instead of wanting something more or wishing for something different I am going to focus on the here and now. As Ferris Bueller says “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

There they are … my Eleven Bucket-List items for the summer. It’s a big list and I know with the move it’ll be a challenge to get it all in but I’m determined. I hope you’ll follow me here, on Facebook and Instagram as I photograph and blog my way through my summer!

Happy Friday Bloggers!

9 Months On - 9 Months Off... The Weightloss Journey

As a piggy-back to my post on Monday I wanted to address the cliché of “Nine Months On, Nine Months Off”.

So many women in our society, myself included, feel immense pressure after giving birth to immediately look like we were never pregnant. We are expected to have a flat stomach, no stretch marks, wear our skinny jeans… basically nothing that resembles the actual reality. So I thought I would share with you my post-partum journey thus far.

Yesterday morning I got on the scale and saw 120.6 pounds…A number I haven’t seen in YEARS. Yes, YEARS. The day I found out I was pregnant with my son I stepped on the scale to set my benchmark – 130 pounds exactly. That was where I started. I don’t think I’ve seen 120 since I my bodybuilding days in 2011.

For the next thirty-three weeks I gained one pound per week. Steadily. I remember sitting in my 16 week appointment with my doctor and hearing her say to me “well, you’re definitely ahead of the curve in terms of weight-gain” and that I should try to slow down. I left that appointment in tears, not necessarily because of the number of pounds I gained, although by that point I was 146, but because I knew I was doing everything in my power to have the healthiest pregnancy I could. Up to that point I’d still been lifting five days a week and was doing three days of cardio. My diet was clean for the most part filled with complex carbs, lean proteins and healthy fats. I wasn’t the woman who was “succumbing” to her pregnancy and drowning in ice cream, pizza or cookies – no, I was determined to be even healthier than I had been prior to.

Regardless of how I was eating or what I was doing for exercise, my body was growing a baby and because of that, anything that happened physically was really out of my control. I watched as my waistline expanded, horrified at the size of my butt and thighs and the amount of cellulite growing on my rear. I was in maternity clothes by 12 weeks, and by 30 weeks was so uncomfortable I thought I was going to burst. Outside of work I literally lived in stretch pants and sweatshirts. My hair in a constant ponytail, no make-up and no jewelry. I was a mess! At the start of my third trimester, Lucas had taken up residence on my sciatic nerve and no matter what I did, refused to move. I tried stretching, yoga, floating in the pool – and while I would get relief for a short time, pretty soon I’d feel him flip right back around and BAM the pain was back. Couple that with my ever increasing size and I was fairly miserable. I felt unattractive, ugly and fat. Nothing anyone said made me feel better. And when one family member told my husband (behind my back) that I was “enormous” I just about lost it. I hated feeling that way but there was nothing I could do to change it.

Scarily on the way to my 37 week appointment the pain in my sciatic nerve was so intense that it caused me to lose my balance and I tumbled down a set of stairs. I was immediately put on bed rest by my doctor for the remainder of my pregnancy – which luckily for me was only two weeks.

At my 39 week check up on September 4 my doctor weighed me one last time and the scale read 163 pounds. I was officially the heaviest I’d ever been. I knew my pregnancy was nearing an end (though I never expected to go into labor that very night) but still the number was shocking. I kept thinking about all the work I was going to have to do to “get my body back.” But the next morning when Lucas was born I forgot all about it, my son was the only thing I cared about! J

A week after I left the hospital, and was fully settled in back at home, I began to get into a routine of carefully moving around and eating healthy again. The first time I stepped on the scale I was down to 155 pounds, eight pounds lighter than when I gave birth. It was motivating yes, but also reminded me once again about where I’d been and where I was. I wasn’t given the green light to start working out fully again until six weeks postpartum so the main thing I did during the first six weeks was to really focus on healthy eating. I was back in my routine of six meals a day loaded with veggies and protein and drinking a ton of water. Since I was breastfeeding I also needed to make sure I was consuming enough calories so that gave me the freedom to have a treat every day! The pounds slowly came off during my maternity leave and when I went back to work at nine weeks postpartum I was 148 pounds.

Quick sidestory – during my entire pregnancy people would say “you’ll bounce back so quickly” or “I’m sure you’ll have no trouble losing the weight” so I was convinced I’d be one of those women that would be back in pre-pregnancy clothes by the end of my maternity leave – boy was I wrong.

I went back to work the first week of November, at the very start of the holiday season. And I wore my maternity clothes, straight through the New Year. I am the first to admit, I was lazy. I was overwhelmed and I was frustrated. We were going through a lot as a family at that time, we’d just brought our son home, we sold our house and moved in with my parents, I started a brand new job, my husband started a new job and it was the holidays. To say I had a lot on my plate was an understatement. So my exercise and diet took a back seat. I continued to wear sweatpants and t-shirts on weekends, which of course did nothing for my self-image. I loathed what I saw in the mirror. I hated everything I tried on, I cried when I attempted to put on pre-pregnancy pants that didn’t fit, I yelled at my husband when he told me I looked amazing… I was in a dark place. It wasn’t until I connected with another mother who’d just had her first child that I began to see how silly I was. She too was struggling with the weight loss game, and here I was telling her how incredible she looked, that she was my inspiration yet hating myself. How hypocritical could one person be. So I changed my outlook.

Just before Christmas I called my bodybuilding coach and told him how frustrated I was. We came up with a plan to get me back “on track” and to where I wanted to be. And despite the fact that I knew during that conversation I wasn’t ready, I agreed to it anyway, and within just a few weeks after starting my plan I quit. It was too much for me to handle at that point in my life – I had a newborn that took up every free moment I had, and I didn’t want to be away from him training at the gym. So needless to say, my weight stalled. I was stuck in the 140’s for almost four months.

In January at the urging of a dear friend I reached out to Julie Chapleau of Team Best FitBody. We spoke for a few hours over the course of two days, about where I’d been, where I was and what my goals were. As a woman and mother, she understood the limitations a new mom faces and the challenges of balancing motherhood, a full time job and a fitness regimen. She put together a plan for me that worked with my lifestyle, four days of lifting, four days of cardio and a diet that made sense. The goal was to get me to a healthy weight for my body (in the mid-120’s) without excessive training and restrictive dieting. On my plan I could, and still do, eat things like pizza and ice cream but it’s balanced with clean foods. I quickly learned to not feel guilty after eating a treat and that sometimes it’s exactly what I needed. When I was able to do that I was able to appreciate what my body had done and was doing.

When I started with Julie on January 19, I sent her my weight of 132 pounds. Over the next 20 weeks my weight fluctuated. There were weeks where I’d stay on track 100% and I’d lose 2 – 4 pounds, but there were other weeks where I’d fall completely off the wagon and I’d gain those pounds back. It was, and still is a work in progress. It’s not easy to do it all, for anyone that’s trying to live a healthy lifestyle, and for me as a new mom trying to balance it all can still be overwhelming at times. However, I’m not giving up. I’m continuing to make changes and alter my days to make things work. I’m adding in walks on my lunch break so that I can get in my cardio for the day or making tomorrow’s lunches while Lucas is napping in the afternoon. It’s all about scheduling.

When I looked at the calendar last week and realized it had been 9 months since Lucas was born it hit me that it had in fact taken a full nine months for me to lose all the weight (and then some) that I had gained. I never imagined it would take that long, nor did I ever think how fast it would go by.

And now that I’m here I look back and I realize how hard I was on myself. I look at pictures from before I was pregnant and while yes, I loved that body then, now I can appreciate what I have more. For nine months my body nurtured and grew a child. I had a vaginal birth (albeit with pain meds) and I chose to breastfeed (and still do). My body isn’t the same as it was before, my hips are wider, my breasts are saggier and my stomach is softer - and it will never be the same again. It’s fluffier, curvier and stronger … and I couldn’t be more proud of it. That’s not to say I don’t still have moments where I look at it and wish I was tighter here, or leaner there but I am appreciating every day. I’m focusing more on my internal happiness and that of my family.

I remember when people would say “cut yourself some slack, it took nine months to put it on, it’ll take nine months to take it off” and all I wanted to do was slap them silly. But they were right. For me it took that long. That’s not to say it will for everyone, but if it does, please, please, please try to go easy on yourself. On the days that you struggle, think about why you gained the weight you did, and think about what you’re willing to sacrifice to lose it. Maybe you’ll be genetically blessed to lose it without a lot of work, or maybe you’ll be like me where you have to really work hard at it, either way – you will get there and when you do be PROUD of yourself.

One of my favorite sayings is “it’s not a sprint – it’s a marathon” and that couldn’t be truer in this case. Yes, I wanted to lose that weight as quickly as I could – No, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice everything to do so. My marathon is still going, this isn’t the finish line for me but I’m happy where I am. As my weight climbs back up over the next couple months with the addition of muscle weight I will be proud of those changes, I will embrace them and I will love every single step.

I wish you all so much luck on your postpartum transformation journey - no matter what your end goal. Remember, you grew a child ... nothing is stronger than that!

Here is my entire journey ...

 

9 Months On - 9 Months Off

 

39 Weeks "IN" ... 39 Weeks "Out"

When I woke up this morning to the sound of my little man saying “da-da” and laughing in his pack n play I realized that 39 weeks ago today I held him in my arms for the first time after exactly 39 weeks of pregnancy. He’s officially been “out” as long as he was “in”…. AND today marks his 9 month birthday!

Thought it would be fun to do a quick picture comparison….

Here I am the day before I gave birth to him at 39 weeks weighing 163lbs:

Here I am today 39 weeks later weighing 123 pounds:

 

And here he is my 9 month old handsome little man – weighing in at 19lbs, 15oz and 28.5 inches tall!

 

Life has flown by these last nine months. I remember looking at his face the day he was born amazed and in awe of how perfect he was. As he’s grown and changed, I find myself more in awe every single day at the boy he’s becoming. I no longer see a tiny baby but a child, my child. The one that grew inside me for 39 weeks, the one that kicked me in my sleep to remind me he was there, the one that got the hiccups every single day (and still does), the one that sat on my sciatic nerve my entire third trimester, the one we wanted so badly. I see a curious child now, one that has been alert and aware since the moment he was born. The one who’s eyes light up when he sees me or his daddy. The one who reaches for me when he wants to be picked up, who snuggles against my chest when he’s not feeling well. This is my world, my son.

It’s amazing how quickly life goes by when you have a child. I remember before him, days used to drag by, especially in the winter – I would think “this week is never going to end”… now I find myself praying for more time, for extra hours in the day. Being a full-time working mom I only get a few hours a day with him and most of that time is spent getting his stuff ready for school the next day, making dinner and then nursing him and putting him to bed. I cherish our weekends together, when we can take long walks, roll around on the floor and just laugh and play for hours. And yet, I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. I like to believe (as naïve as it is) that he saves his “firsts” for us… he waits to do something for the first time until mommy or daddy are around. He wants us to see it, to smile and clap. And do we ever!! Everything this boy does is incredible. We think he’s the cutest, the smartest, the funniest, the most loving… as all parents do with their children. But really …. He is!

I can’t tell you how many times we get stopped by complete strangers so they can tell us how beautiful he is. He has these eyes that literally stare into your soul. He’s drinking in the world around him, fascinated by life. And what more could a parent wish for? I want him to continue to be curious, to want to learn and grow and experience life to the absolute fullest.

Today, as I looked down at him in his crib, and saw him curled up in a ball with his little bum in the air I cried. As fast as these last nine months have gone, I know the next 18 years will go even faster. I will continue to cherish every moment with him, cheer him in times of success and comfort him in times of sadness, we will nurture him and teach him, be his friend when he needs us and his nemesis when necessary, but most importantly we will love him with everything we have. To the Moon and Back, and Back Again.