Woman Crush Wednesday

I’ve seen pictures posted all over Facebook and Instagram for months now captioned “Woman Crush Wednesday” but have never personally participated.

But this past Friday as I watched Noelle Pikus-Pace skeleton her way to a silver medal I thought to myself, “she could be my first woman crush Wednesday.”

What I find most fascinating about Noelle is not her drive for a medal or her skill at skeleton racing but the way she loves her family and puts them above everything else.

She first started competing in Skeleton in 2001 and has since competed in two Olympics. The first in Vancouver where she finished fourth and most recently in Sochi where she won a silver medal. Her road to the Olympics wasn’t easy, she had hoped to race in the 2006 Olympics in Turin when her right leg was broken by a bobsled that failed to stop at the finish line. Noelle had to undergo surgery to repair her leg and the injury prevented her from competing. Seven weeks after surgery she returned to the circuit and placed 20^th in Austria.

In October of 2007, Pikus-Pace announced that she would not be competing in the 2007-2008 season because she was pregnant with her first child. Her daughter, Laycee was born on January 19 2008. Later that year Noelle went on to compete in the first race of the 2008-2009 season and placed 5^th.

In January of 2010 she learned she had qualified for the 2010 Winter Olympics. Her husband designed her sled for the games and despite incredible runs throughout the games Noelle finished in fourth place. After the games she announced her retirement from the sport. She wanted to spend more time with her family, and had realized that between traveling for races, training and appearances she was missing out on her life’s greatest joys. But, only 20 months later she returned to the sport in 2012 hoping to compete in the 2014 Olympics. She was named to the Olympic team in January 2014 and on February 14, 2014 she sailed across the finish line and onto the podium.

The first thing she did after dismounting her sled was to run straight into the crowd and into the waiting arms of her husband and daughter. You could sense the joy she was feeling through the television screen and despite the fact that she didn’t win gold you could tell she was absolutely thrilled!

It was during a post-race interview with Meredith Vieira that Pikus-Pace revealed why she had come out of retirement. In 2011 she and her husband found out she was pregnant for the second time, but sadly 18 weeks into her pregnancy Noelle suffered a miscarriage. Her husband urged her to channel her grief and try one more time to earn that coveted medal. With his support and that of her family Noelle gave it a go. They decided that the only way she was going to try again was if they could travel as a family. Luckily for her, the hat business she started while in retirement had taken off and her family was able to use those funds to make her dreams a reality. They traveled together as she competed in the World Cup and earned her spot on the 2014 USA Team.

As I watched her interview with Meredith I was actually shocked at how much of the time was spent discussing such a personally painful event in Noelle’s life and how little was spent talking about her career. I was awed by Noelle’s courage to be so open with what she’d gone through and how it changed her. It was incredible to watch her smile through that pain and explain how that event made her into the racer, wife and mother she is today. A few times I wanted to reach through the screen and hug her as I could personally feel the hurt in her heart.

I admire her strength both physically and emotionally and even more I applaud her for putting her family first. I can only imagine how hard it was on her family to be separated from her so frequently when she was racing. It’s amazing when you hear stories of people finding a balance between their dreams and their families. She’s very blessed to have such a support group behind her every step of the way.

She should be so proud of the example she is setting for her daughter. That having a dream doesn’t mean giving up on having a family, and having a family doesn’t mean giving up on your dreams. She found a balance between the two and clearly the joy she feels is immeasurable.

 

Congratulations to Noelle for her silver medal in Sochi and Good Luck to her in retirement. Who knows…maybe we’ll see Laycee on the skeleton course someday!

Milestones Abound!

It’s milestone central in the Novello household lately!!  Our little man finally figured out how to roll over from his back to his belly on his actual five month birthday! Now that he’s mastered it, it’s all he wants to do – especially on the changing table! So we’ve instituted “Rule #1” (borrowed from Sarah & C) which is “No Rollin’ on the Changing Table” – we’ll see how that goes!

I haven’t been keeping track as well as I should be, so going forward, similarly to my “Hump Day Bump Day” updates when I was pregnant I will be doing monthly updates on the little man’s growth through his first year.

Pardon me while we catch up here a bit:

One Month Old – October 5, 2013

I can hold my head up for a little while (like a turtle), I grunt, groan and coo. I sleep on average about 4 hours now and I am very alert when I’m awake!

Two Months Old – November 5, 2013

I can smile, recognize voices, sleep 4-5 hours at night and tell lots of stories!
I also love to look at myself in the mirror!

Three Months Old – December 5, 2013

 I can hold my head up all by myself, smile, reach for my toys, blow bubbles, suck on my fingers and I love to babble! I sleep about 6 hours at night now and I can almost roll from my belly to my back and I love to giggle!

Four Months Old – January 5, 2014

I laugh, smile and babble. I can almost sit up on my own. I’ve discovered my piggies.
I can use the exersaucer by myself, I recognize mommy & daddy’s voices and I love my doggy! I love to roll over to my back during tummy time and I've stopped sleeping at night!

Five Months Old – February 5, 2014

I can roll over both ways, sit up with help, stick out my tongue, play with my toes, pet my doggy, sleep in my crib alone and talk all day long! I love Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes and my favorite toy is my lovie named Doug.

 

It’s incredible to look at these pictures and updates see physically how much he’s grown and changed (notice the loss and then slllooooww regrowth of hair) over just these last few months. Every day he’s different, and has discovered something new and we’ve had such a blast so far engaging with him and learning about each other.

I’m still beyond amazed that Brian and I created this little guy. I find myself staring at him sometimes thanking God and counting my blessings that he’s ours. I can’t wait to see what the next few months bring us, but I truly am trying to enjoy each and every day!

Tiffany Zellin 08/08/80 - 02/09/11

Three years ago this past Sunday, February 9 2011, my friend Tiffany passed away after a very short battle – less than two months - with a terminal brain tumor.  Adding to the pain of losing her is that Tiffany was pregnant with her first child when she was admitted. Sadly due to the trauma her body was going through the doctor’s weren’t able to save the baby and so her husband lost his wife and his unborn daughter at the same time. It was one of the most surreal experiences of my entire life.

Tiffany and I had a rocky friendship. We met in 2007 on TheKnot.com while we were both planning our weddings. Tiffany was very outspoken, and didn’t care one way or another if you liked her. She was a straight shooter that called it like she saw it. She was opinionated but solid in her beliefs. And boy did she love a good debate. When we met for the first time I was intimidated by this larger than life personality. In the course of one conversation she could make you laugh until your sides hurt and angrier than you’d ever been in your life. But damn was she loyal. Once she called you a friend, you were a friend for life. She would defend you to the ends of the earth whether you were wrong or not. And she’d “cut a bitch” if anyone looked at you sideways. More times than not our personalities clashed and ultimately those frequent head butts put us at odds with each other. And yet, every moment during our rift I missed her. I wanted nothing more than to bounce an idea off her or ask her opinion. So, when at the urging of Jami, I reached back out to Tiffany to repair our friendship I was thrilled when she responded in kind.

A small group of us went to dinner at the Border Café and it was literally like nothing had happened. We picked up right where we left off and it felt great to have her back in my life.

Sadly it wasn’t for long. Just as we’d reconnected she got sick. Initially we all thought it was because she’d stopped taking her medication because of her pregnancy. We joked that she was “really losing it” because while she’d always been sort of brash, now she could be just downright mean. None of us were really sure how to take the things she was saying or the way she was acting, and eventually she distanced herself from us completely. It was an odd time for our group of seven who’d become so close in just a few years and none us could reconcile this new Tiff with the old.

So when the news came of her collapse and admittance to the hospital we were all shocked to say the least. And when the diagnosis came, we felt guilty for the way we’d been feeling. As the days dragged on we held onto every amount of hope we could that she’d come back to us. There were moments where the doctors thought she was – she’d move a finger or squeeze a hand – but ultimately we never saw our beautiful Tiffany laugh or smile again.

We visited her bedside just a few days before we lost her forever and it was so difficult to see her like that. She was helpless and lifeless, not at all the woman we knew and loved so dearly. But we sat there and told stories and laughed and talked to her, praying that just maybe she could hear us. We never could possibly have known that when we left that day, it would be the last time we ever saw her face.

I woke up the morning of her service, thinking that it couldn’t possibly be real. I don’t really remember getting ready or driving to the church. I do however, remember arriving and seeing how jam packed the church was. It was a testament to how many people truly loved and cared about Tiffany. Her husband said a brief eulogy that of course left everyone in tears, but the service was beautiful and I felt a little peace knowing she was no longer in pain.

I still think of her often, especially in regards to all that’s transpired over these last three years. There have been births, divorces, home purchases, moves, hospital stays, fights, makes ups… the list goes on. And for each event I can just see (and hear) her reactions. Everything would have been so different if she’d been a part of them. There are still days when it’s hard to believe she’s gone. Sometimes it feels like ages and other times the pain hits you when you least expect it. “They” say (ugh I hate them) that “time heals all wounds” … it doesn’t. It might make it easier to bear but you’re still left with the scar, the constant reminder of what you had and lost.

I will forever remember her face, her smile, her friendship. I could never forget the first person who told me to “put on your big  girl panties and shut the f up!”

I miss you lady and your roaring laughter! I’d promise to have a ‘rita for you, but you know I hate tequila, so instead I raise my glass o’ wine in your honor and say “Cheers Biatch!”

Tiffany Zellin

08/08/1980 - 02/09/2011

$250,000 to be the Thinnest Biggest Loser....

The Biggest Loser – an NBC staple for the past 10 years just finished their most recent season. And the end has sparked more controversy than any of the other season finales combined.

Why you ask? Because the “winner” Rachel Frederickson lost a record shattering 59.62% of her body weight (155 pounds) ending the season at 105 pounds.

And what, you continue is wrong with that? Well, let’s start in the beginning.

Rachel, who is 5’4, came on the show weight 260 pounds with a BMI of 44.6 and fell into the “Obese” category. Now, before I continue let me just say, as someone that lives and breathes the fitness world I know BMI calculations can be way off depending on the person. The calculation is based solely off your height and weight and doesn’t take into account any muscularity you carry on your frame. So if you are 140 pounds but 114 pounds of that is lean muscle your BMI could register higher than it really should.  

But, back to Rachel. As she herself told us in her backstory, while in high school she was a three time state champion swimmer. At 18 she gave up a scholarship opportunity to move to Germany with her boyfriend. When that relationship fizzled Rachel says she gained more than 100 pounds over the next six years. She bounced around from place to place until finally settling in Los Angeles where she is currently a voice-over artist. “I was very hard on myself for some of the decisions I made. I’m ready to become that strong and confident girl again...and live the life I always imagined” [1]

Do me a favor; re-read the 4^th sentence … it took SIX YEARS for her to gain 100 pounds. That’s 100 pounds over 2,190 days – an average of 16 pounds gained a year. The average American gains (and doesn’t lose) 1 – 2 pounds each holiday season alone.[2]

So now that we know Rachel’s backstory let’s look at her time on the ranch. Keep in mind this season was taped over the course of 16 weeks (including a 30 day break between week 14 and the finale) – just 4 months.

Rachel’s Weekly Weigh-Ins (starting with week 5)

	Previous Weight	Current Weight	Pounds Lost	BMI
Week 1	260			44.6
Week 5	216	198	18	34
Week 6	198	195	3	33.5
Week 7	195	183	12	31.4
Week 8	183	178	5	30.6
Week 9	178	171	7	29.3
Week 10	171	167	4	28.7
Week 11	167	161	6	27.6
Week 12	161	155	6	26.6
Week 13	155	151	4	25.9
Week 14	151	150	1	25.7
FINALE3	120	105	45	18

As you can see, during production of the show Rachel was never within a healthy BMI range for her height, she started “obese” and went home between Week 14 and the Finale still in the Overweight category. When she returned for her final weigh-in she would be classified as “under-weight.” Somehow Rachel managed to lose 45 pounds in 30 days an average weight loss of 11.25 pounds per week. The CDC states that losing weight gradually at a rate of 1 – 2 pounds per week is considered a healthy weight loss,[4]  which means Rachel lost FIVE TIMES that amount in her 30 days at home.  

So there my friends are the statistics on Rachel’s “journey” to a “strong and confident girl”…

And I, for one am outraged not only by Rachel’s results but also by this show in general. When the show began I, like many millions, was sucked in – these were real “success” stories. People whose lives had been destroyed by their weight gain trying to reclaim what they lost. Coming out on top and showing the world that yes, you too can lose weight and be the best you ever! But is any of that actually true?

Contestants on the show have to sign binding contracts that prevent them from talking about their time on the ranch. If they do they can be sued for up to $1,000,000 dollars.[5] What could possibly be happening on that ranch that would damage the show’s reputation so badly that they would need to sue former contestants for such a staggering sum?

According to Kai Hubbard, a season 3 contestant more than you could possibly imagine. In a shocking interview with the Tampa Bay Times, Kai dishes on everything from dehydration to 6+ hour long work outs. She went on to spread her story by speaking with the CBS Early Show, telling them: “I left with a very poor mental body image, I found myself loathing what I looked like the more weight I dropped because of the pressure on me. And I found myself doing things like considering coffee a meal. And because of the mentality that I was surrounded with, and the pressure that was given at that show, it was considered acceptable to behave that way."

Producers of the show have tried to discredit her story but she’s not the only one speaking out. Ryan Benson told the New York Times he thinks he has been shunned by the show because he publicly admitted that he dropped some of the weight by fasting and dehydrating himself to the point that he was urinating blood.[6]

And yet, despite these claims NBC continues to tout The Biggest Loser as a “healthy weight loss show” but what can be healthy about starvation, overtraining, dehydration, stress fractures and more?

I’m angry. I’m really very angry. I’m angry that this show continues to promote an unhealthy diet and exercise regime. I’m angry that it’s so popular. I’m angry that we put a dollar figure on weight loss. I’m angry that we as a society are still using the number on a scale as a way to define ourselves. I’m angry that once again we have to explain to our daughters that what they see on TV isn’t realistic.

I’ll be honest – I didn’t actually watch the finale. I had forgotten it was on. I read about it today and when I posted my anger on my Facebook wall, my sister commented that when Rachel weighed in and the numbers on the scale bounce around like they do (to create suspense) she said they dipped BELOW 100… even hitting numbers in the 80’s at one point. This alone, is disgusting. I truly don’t even have words for that. Eighty pounds for a 5’4 woman … let that one sink in for a minute.

And to claim that she looks the way she does without any surgery only further solidifies my belief that this show has no moral compass. Another industry friend of mine likened it to a balloon “Blow up a balloon one time. Does it return to its original state? Now do that a few times. How is that balloon looking now?” … And she’s right. There is no way this woman could have lost 155 pounds in four months and have no sagging skin as a result.

The producers of this show really should be ashamed of themselves. Perhaps in their “off season” they could take a really long hard look at the controversy they’ve drummed up with this most recent result and instead of capitalizing on it (as all reality shows do) make some changes and recreate the show in a more truthful and meaningful way. I for one would be more inclined to watch a show that truly teaches lifestyle changes. A show that isn’t a constant commercial (shoving uncomfortable branding moments in your face), that takes real people in real life situations and turns their lives around in a sustainable, achievable way.

Perhaps that’s wishful thinking, maybe our society is so brainwashed into believing Biggest Loser type lies that a show truly based in reality wouldn’t survive it’s first year.

The worst part I think is that this is a show full of obese people suffering and punishing themselves to be thin. We award the thinnest person with a quarter of a million dollars and then we are outraged by it and tell her she’s too thin. Before she was too fat now she’s “anorexic,” “emaciated” and “gaunt” … but isn’t that the purpose? Isn’t she supposed to do absolutely everything in her power to lose the most amount of weight she possibly can to beat out the rest of the competitors? Haven’t you ever been asked what you’d do for $250,000? I personally would probably do just about anything – that is a life changing amount of money for most people. So when presented with the chance to win it solely by losing weight well… I can think of about 100 different ways to come out on top and perhaps that just what Rachel did. She played the game … and she won.

My only hope is that when her media blitz is over and the cameras have turned off for the last time, maybe she will sit down and be honest with herself. She’ll realize 105 pounds is not sustainable or healthy for her. She’ll reflect on how she got to where she was in the beginning and how she got to the end. She’ll find ways to be happy again and not be starving all the time. And maybe then, she’ll find the “strong, confident girl” she once was.

---

[1] http://www.nbc.com/the-biggest-loser/contestants/season-15/rachel-frederickson

[2] http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/holiday-foods-diet

[3] Thirty days elapsed between week 14 and the finale

[4] http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/losing_weight/index.html

[5] http://www.tampabay.com/features/media/former-biggest-loser-competitor-kai-hibbard-calls-the-show-unhealthy/1084764

[6] http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/25/business/media/25loser.html?pagewanted=all

My Next Thirty Years

Thirty. Three-Zero. Three Decades. Dirty-Thirty.

Holy Crap! This week marks the start of the end of my 20’s. In just three weeks I will be entering a whole new decade, one that I am sure will be filled with even more milestones and adventures that I could ever imagine.

My husband and I have talked many times in the past about not feeling our age. We still feel like children in many ways. I even joke that often I feel like an impostor when I pick Lucas up from daycare. I sometimes can’t believe I’m old enough to have a child of my own.

We always say that we thought we’d “feel like an adult when…” 1) we got our own apartment 2) we got engaged 3) we got married 4) we bought a home 5) we had a child… and yet here we are, having accomplished all these things and there are times when I still don’t feel like an adult! But then I see my younger sister and her friends and I try to relate to their lives and I realize maybe, just maybe I’m “older” than I feel!

So as I begin to look back over the last two and a half decades (because really who remembers much before their 5^th birthday?) it’s clear to me that I’m not at all the woman I thought I was going to be when I “grew up.” And for that I’m thankful because with every passing year, changing dream and altered goal I’ve become a better and happier version of me and in the grand scheme of things that’s really all we can wish for.

But, for the sake of thirty – let’s look back.

I think my first dream in life was to be a princess; I wanted nothing more than to be able to wear fancy dresses, party shoes and sparkles all day long. I could have cared less about Prince Charming, (perhaps foreshadowing my severe need for independence in my later life?) but would have taken a horse, a castle and glass slippers in a heartbeat. I wanted the singing animals, the Fairy Godmother and the long gorgeous hair. I’m not sure at what point that dreamed died, but what a wonderful fantasy to have had!

As I got a bit older I wanted to be a brain surgeon. Partly because despite my constant wardrobe of dresses, tights and patent leather Mary-Janes I was a tomboy in every sense of the word. Wanting to be my father’s sidekick, he and I would watch the Discovery Channel together each Sunday – specifically the surgery program. This was before everything was censored and we watched every incision, organ removal and the post-surgery clean up. Each time the show ended, I was convinced I was going to spend my life saving other people. But then as I got older my intense fear of blood rendered that dream impossible.

Later, when it came time to be realistic and choose a career based on my abilities I chose a college where I could become a teacher; a high school history teacher to be exact. I wanted to mold the minds of young students and teach them all about our wonderful world. I wanted to stand in front of the classroom giving lectures and homework; spend my vacations grading papers (as my mother had always done) and be that teach that everyone loved. But then as I sat bored and yawning in my college classes I realized that dream too was gone.

Life became “real” for me at 19 when after realizing teaching wasn’t for me, I dropped out of college and embarked on my own. I rented a tiny studio apartment in downtown Burlington, VT and took a job as a restaurant manager. I was determined to be taken seriously as an adult, to show the world (aka my family) that I could “make it on my own”. But when the bills began to pile up (minimum wage and nights spent drinking and partying with friends don’t make for much money) and I found myself alone with no support I realized perhaps maybe I was pursuing a “dream” that wasn’t the best for me.

The past ten years have really been the best of my life so far. But not in the sense you might think. I wasn’t partying or traveling (a ton) or spending oodles of money on frivolous and useless things.

By the time I turned 20 I had returned to MA, with the renewed support of my family and my incredible boyfriend (now husband). I got a full time job, and returned to school part-time. Shortly thereafter I moved in with Brian and we started our life together. In a very short time, my “dreams” for the future changed. I knew I wanted to get married and spend my life with this man, I wasn’t sure about being a mother but hadn’t ruled it out completely, I wanted to earn my degree and create a solid foundation for my adult life. So, despite being in our 20’s we weren’t your typical out every night couple. Brian was in a very successful band so we’d travel for shows frequently, but when we weren’t doing that we spent our weekends close to home with friends having BBQ’s and going to dinner. Our life moved quickly after that - We got engaged when I was 22, married when I was 24, bought our home when I was 26, I graduated college (with honors) at 27 and I gave birth to Lucas when I was 29.

Ten years went by in a literal blink of an eye and as I sit on the cusp of my next decade I find myself wondering how fast this one will go by. Will I look back in ten years and say “where did my 30’s go?” … I hope not. I am going to embrace every single moment, take the time to watch the sunrise, appreciate the middle of the night crying fits of my son, hold hands with my husband whenever I can, tell my family how much I love them, take a moment to call a friend, travel, read, and DREAM! Who knows where my “grown up” dreams will take me, but I know wherever I end up, as long as I have my husband and child(ren) by my side that’s exactly where I’m meant to be!

CHEERS to 30! The best is yet to be!

"Birthday Month Soundtrack"

My Next 30 Years

I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years

Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years