Happy Labor Day Weekend!

Growing up in my house Labor Day weekend was always a "new start" - it was for us the New Year's Eve of the fall. My mother has been a teacher for as long as I can remember so it always signified the start of a new school year, a new season and a chance to reinvent who you wanted to be both academically and socially. 

Sadly, like most people as I've gotten older Labor Day has taken on a different meaning. Now it means impending winter, shorter days and being cooped up inside. It has lost some of its magic. I stopped viewing it as an opportunity and more like a disappointment. I don't love the winter and in fact have grown to despise it, so the thought of the first snow potentially arriving in 90 days (give or take) sends me reeling. 

But, this year I am determined to revisit my love for fall. I will embrace the crisp morning walks I'll be able to take with the nugget and Berklee, the crockpot meals I'll make for my husband and the gorgeous colors of the leaves as they change. And when winter comes - which the Farmer's Almanac says it will with a vengeance this year - I will try not to hate it so much. As a mom it's my job to teach my child to enjoy his life the best he possibly can and what better way to do so than by example. I've heard that seeing the world and life through the eyes of a child is like magic - I can not wait to experience that feeling with my son.

This Labor Day is definitely a "new start" for us and I have every intention of making the very most of each and every moment! 

Here's to a new "year"!!

38 & 39 Weeks!

This past week has been a very interesting one for me. As we sneak closer and closer to the end things are getting quite a bit more difficult. I am officially on bed rest until this little guy arrives (blog post coming) and am feeling more ready for the end by the day. 

At the same time I'm struggling with some pre-birth sadness. While I'm definitely ready to finally meet my son I'm also feeling an early sense of loss at not being pregnant anymore. While it hasn't been the smoothest road for me this last trimester that doesn't mean I haven't really enjoyed the whole process. Knowing that I am carrying a child is a miracle. Brian and I created this little one and thinking about all the things my body has done to grow him healthy is amazing. The human body really can do incredible things. It might sound super corny but being pregnant means I am able to keep my son safe at all times. I can protect him and hold him and make sure nothing happens to him. Once he's born I can continue to do all of these things however, it's different. He'll be his own person and I can't be with him all the time. Feeling him move and kick inside me is a constant comfort that everything is alright, when we are separated I won't have that feeling anymore and I'm not sure how that's going to be for me. So while I'm on bed rest I am spending more time talking to him and enjoying having him with me. 

Mommy at 38 Weeks

Mommy at 39 Weeks

As for symptoms/stats there really hasn't been much change since 37 weeks. I've been experiencing some minor heartburn but as long as I don't lie down right after I eat I can usually avoid it. Other than that it's a day at a time inching ever so close to the nugget's arrival!! 

The real countdown is ON!!!!

Childbirth Classes - NOT Required

I have been receiving a lot of flak lately from people regarding my decision to not take a childbirth class. I’ve been told it’s “naïve” or “immature” to not attend. Yesterday when I was experiencing my first real round of contractions (time able but not “true” labor) I picked up the phone to call a certain someone to ask if that’s really what I was feeling. Her immediate response was “well you’d know if you took the classes” … I tried once again to explain my reasoning behind not taking them to which she said “well that’s just immature. Now you have no idea what to expect” … what she doesn’t get is that I don’t WANT to know! I am much more comfortable with being blindly ignorant of what exactly is going to happen once I do go into labor.

I am not opposed to learning about the labor process itself or what a contraction feels like or the breathing techniques etc. that may help with the pain, what I AM opposed to is sitting through multiple birthing videos and scenarios. I do not want or need to see another woman giving birth either vaginally or via c-section to understand what’s coming. I have done my own research so am fully aware that the latter is not all the class is comprised of, however for me it would be horribly embarrassing to attend a course and have to leave during one section because I can’t stomach it physically or emotionally. There are definitely aspects of childbirth that I do feel I could benefit from knowing more about and perhaps that’s where I am naïve but this is MY baby, MY body and MY choice. So I will learn about it in my own way, I will read articles and books, I will ask questions of my friends and my doctor and I will experience it myself. Childbirth classes haven’t always been around, women have been having babies for thousands of years without “knowing” anything so I refuse to let anyone make me feel less than for opting out of the course.

That being said, it was definitely a bit frustrating for me last night to not be able to say “yup these are definitely contractions” … I literally spoke with two of my closest friends, my sister and sister-in-law to get their take on what contractions felt like so I could gauge if that’s what was happening. In the end I determined that yup, whether they were consistent Braxton Hicks or not, they were definitely contractions. And now that I’ve been able to identify it once, I will be able to again in the future. I’ll also be able to answer my doctor honestly when she asks “have you been having contractions?” at my next appointment! Knowing that I was experiencing them every 10-15 minutes for about two hours last night is frightening yet exciting all at the same time. It means that we are definitely getting ready for the big day! It means that there is no more time to get things done.

 I’ve continuously put off packing my hospital bag but now it’s definitely time. It’s vital that I have everything I need (or close to it) in case he does decide to come early – otherwise I’ll be panicking the entire way to the hospital. So #1 to-do item for the weekend – PACK HOSPITAL BAG! #2 item REST … the latter is definitely not something I’m very good at, I have continued to push myself to do things that aren’t entirely necessary but that’s because I don’t like to sit still. I like feeling productive, both at work and at home, and since the gym has been out of the question for the last couple months I have all sorts of pent up energy that needs an outlet. But I guess I need to (in the words of Jami) ‘suck it up cupcake’ and accept that now isn’t the time to be Superwoman!

All kidding aside, I have every intention of putting my feet up this weekend and taking it easy. I am pretty sure letting Brian take care of me won’t be too hard! J

The End is Near!

Just a weekly statics update today:

Mommy at 37 Weeks:

Baby at 37 Weeks:
Size: 19 inches and 7 pounds. Okay baby – we’ve got three weeks (maybe) … let’s not put on another 3 pounds! Mommy can’t handle it!  
Development: Perfecting his breathing, thumb sucking, blinking and turning from side to side.
Fun Fact: Baby’s head at birth will be the same size circumference as his hips, abdomen and shoulders!  

Symptoms at 37 Weeks:
How’s the Belly Looking: Larger and rounder by the day!  
Swelling: I have still been able to avoid what Sarah called her “tempurpedic” feet – meaning I have some swelling but they still look like feet! J  
Pelvic Pressure / Discomfort: Yup. Just the little guy settling into his new position for the next couple weeks (hopefully he stays head down!)
Sleep: Doing alright in this department, although bedtime comes earlier and earlier every day it seems.  
Stretch Marks: The ones on my legs haven’t gotten any worse (thankfully) and still none on the belly. We’ll see what happens!
Baby-Related Purposes: A pair of shoes for our maternity photo shoot.
Days Left:
  21 – at the most! My doctor promised me at my appointment that she will not let me go past 40 weeks! Phew!

Full Term!

Full Term … those are two of the scariest words I’ve heard since Ectopic Pregnancy. Obviously, the significance behind them is dramatically different but they are words that when spoken out loud are literally life changing.

It’s hard to believe that we are thisclose to meeting our little guy. The possibility that he could be born any day now blows my mind. We’ve been waiting for so long to meet him and now it’s almost here. It’s hard to put into words exactly how I feel about his impending birth. While I am overjoyed to meet my son and become a mom at the same time I’m partly terrified about it. What if he hates me? What if I’m a bad mother? What if I can’t handle it? I try to push these thoughts out of my head but sometimes when I look at my other mom friends I feel inadequate already. They have it all together and make being a mother look so easy. They are so maternal, and when I think about how others view me, I wonder if they think I’m at all maternal. Or are they thinking “that poor child” ?? … it scares me to my core!

My biggest joy through this whole pregnancy has been watching Brian morph into a dad. In the beginning I think it was hard for him to grasp, but as I started showing and certainly after he was able to feel the baby move his whole attitude has changed. When he put the crib together and set up the nursery he sent me a text that just read “starting to get really excited!!!!” Since then he’s been very involved and wanting to help. Yesterday he spent a few hours assembling the swing, the bouncy seat, the stroller and installing the car seat. After he was done with that he “organized” the baby’s stuffed animals and put the changing pad cover on. It’s been really fun to watch him go through this. He’s also starting to realize how hard his job is going to be on him once the baby is here. Right now him working 7 days a week isn’t ideal but because it’s just the two of us we can make it work; but he has said more than once “I don’t know what I’m going to do when the baby is here”… he knows he isn’t going to want to be away from us that much and it’s already killing him trying to figure out how he can alter his schedule so he has more “family time.” I cannot wait for the first time he gets to hold his son. That’s a moment I think I’ll treasure forever. Now if only I can remember to take a picture of that!

Weekly Statics Updates:

Mommy at 36 Weeks:

Baby at 36 Weeks:
Size: 18.5 inches and 6 pounds. I’d be okay if he only gained another 1.5 pounds. Don’t really want to go for any records here!
Development: Blood circulation is perfected now and his immune system has matured to face the outside world. His kidneys are fully developed and his liver can process some waste products. Going forward his weight gain will be top priority.

Symptoms at 36 Weeks:
Currently Craving: Nothing – and by nothing I mean I don’t want to eat anything. Most times just looking at food makes me feel full and I can’t really even eat all that much when I do have a meal.   
How’s the Belly Looking: To quote my friend Jessica “Perfect Basketball”!
Braxton Hicks: For a brief moment last night I thought it might be time! Seriously, if BH are just “practice” then I think I’m in big trouble when the real thing starts!
Swelling: My fingers/hands are starting to swell a bit this week on top of my already swollen feet. My rings are still on though so that’s a good sign. But if the swelling keeps up I may just take them off for the last few weeks rather than risking having them cut off when I go into labor.
Pelvic Pressure / Discomfort: Despite my sciatica going away, I have been experiencing some pretty intense pressure the last few days. Similar to what my SPD felt like in the beginning.
Sleep: Amazingly enough I have been able to get almost 6 full hours of sleep each night the last couple days. It’s been wonderful to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day again!
Stretch Marks: Well… my hopes have been dashed. I have yet to see any on my stomach but sadly I did notice the beginnings (very faintly) of some on the front of my thighs! L This is disappointing to me because I didn’t really think my legs were growing that fast or much. I’m hoping they won’t get any worse but with 4 weeks to go I think I’ve lost this battle.
Baby-Related Purposes: A RUG! Finally!!! And some baskets for his diapers/wipes. Now I just have to find the perfect bookcase to put them in and some curtains…
Days Left:  28 days – the length of my birthday month!

Quick Cape Getaway!

This past weekend my mother and I took the CapeFLYER from Boston’s South Station to Hyannis, MA to visit my grandmother in Cotuit. For my non-Massachusetts readers, driving to the Cape in the summer is insane – literally. There is truly only one way in and one way out … if you don’t hit it juuuust right you can find yourself sitting in traffic for hours on end, and I’m not exaggerating.

Back in the late 80’s there was an Amtrak train from NYC to Hyannis called the Cape Codder – it only lasted until 1996 when it was discontinued due to low ridership. In the years since there was no easy way to get there and people regularly contacted the Mass Bay Transit Authority (MBTA) about offering a similar service. There hasn’t been direct service between Boston and the Cape since 1961 – although the Cape Cod & Hyannis Railroad operated from Braintree between 1984-1988. On Friday May 24^th 2013 the first CapeFLYER train departed South Station with just over 200 passengers aboard for the 2.5 hour trip heading to Buzzard’s Bay and Hyannis. With the rising costs for the MBTA it was anticipated that in order to break even the CapeFLYER needed 700 passengers per weekend – a figure that has been blown away week after week. Through the July 4^th weekend alone over 2,300 passengers boarded the CapeFLYER making it the most profitable weekend to date. That very same weekend there was an 8 hour backup on Route 6 and a gridlock at the Sagamore Bridge…now you tell me which you would rather a 2.5 hour ride or an 8 hour one? On top of the convenience of the train, the cost is relatively inexpensive considering. A roundtrip ticket from South Station to Hyannis is $35 – less than the cost of a tank of gas for most people. I know personally, owning a Honda Pilot, a roundtrip drive to the Cape would cost me easily $70+ in gas alone.

My mother and I arrived in Hyannis at 8:50pm on Friday night where we were greeted by my grandmother and her husband, David. We drove about 20 minutes to their home in Cotuit where we had a light dinner of chicken salad followed by a fireworks display commemorating the end of a golf event at the country club before heading to bed.

We were anticipating a gorgeous Saturday so wanted to get a good night’s rest. Unfortunately when we awoke on Saturday morning it was fairly chilly and very overcast. We knew our plans would have to be altered. My mother’s step-brother, Jonathan, was also visiting with his son, Braylen so they took advantage of the cool morning by going out fishing. That left my mother, my grandmother and me to our own devices for the day. We had a lazy morning and then headed into Osterville to do a little shopping and grab some lunch. As we heading toward town it began to rain so we knew the stores would be pretty crowded. We did some window shopping before stopping into an adorable baby store on the main road. My mother bought the nugget the most adorable blue sweater and I had my eye on a stuffed rabbit for his room but my grandmother wouldn’t let me buy it … perhaps that means a gift is forthcoming? Anyway, after we finished our shopping we had lunch at Wimpy’s Seafood Café & Market and headed back to the house.

We spent the afternoon reading and relaxing and then got ready for dinner. My grandmother and David took us for a delicious dinner at the Oyster Harbor Country Club which has a beautiful view of the bay. We were able to watch the sun go down and had a nice time chatting and catching up.

The next morning we awoke to a gorgeous sunny day! We had breakfast and then David, Jonathan and Braylen headed out again for some early morning fishing. My mother, grandmother and I spent the morning on the dock basking in the sun reading our books. Talk about relaxing! J The boys returned just before 2pm and after cleaning up their fishing gear we re-loaded the boat for a “cocktail cruise” around the island. There were so many boats out and it was fun to read all the creative names people come up with for their boats – Out with the Buoys was the favorite of the day; however Write Off and Spare Change also got my vote! We returned to the house just after 4pm and settled in for an early dinner. Mum and I had to be back to Hyannis by 6pm to catch our train home.

It was a very peaceful weekend overall – one I very much needed but also one that made me realize how much I still have left to do! I came home to a house full of clean laundry that needs to be put away, a basket full of baby clothes that needs to be washed, an empty refrigerator that needs to be filled and a pile of bills that need to be paid … reality is always a slap in the face isn’t it? The next few weeks are going to be full of last minute chores getting ready for this little guy’s arrival but I couldn’t be more excited for what’s to come!

Hope you all had as enjoyable a weekend as I did!

(more pictures to come - having difficulty uploading today)