Do You Feel Like You Know Him?

While we were sitting on the couch Tuesday night, when Brian felt the nugget kick for the first time, he looked at me very seriously and asked "Do you feel like you know him already?"

I was taken aback a little bit because truth be told I haven't really thought about it. Do I feel more of a connection with him? Maybe. But do I really know who this little guy is? I don't think so. It's hard to really know someone once you've met them face-to-face so despite the fact that I'm carrying him, I wouldn't say we've formed any sort of deep relationship. Perhaps that makes me sounds like a horrible mother, because I've met many women that say the complete opposite - but please don't get me wrong - I love my son more than my own life already, but there is so much I don't know about him at this point that I'm dying to learn.

He's on his own little carnival ride right now, experiencing my daily routine (to an extent) day after day - what I eat, when I rest, how I get around, who I talk to... But I don't know what he's doing in there. Is he dreaming? Does he form thoughts? Other than what the books tell me he's doing I couldn't even begin to guess!

I will say I talk to him quite a bit, I know he can hear me, but does he understand what I'm saying? I tell him about his daddy, his grandparents, his aunts & uncles, his dog and how much we are all dying to meet him. I tell him I love him and that I can't wait to see his little face - but it's not like he can talk back or communicate in any way (other than kicking me) so the conversations are a little one sided; which to be honest makes me feel silly sometimes when I'm talking to him!

One thing I do know for sure is his sleep schedule - at least what it is right now. He likes to sleep when I'm at work. He wakes up for a bit each time I eat, depending on what I've had. Then at night when we're relaxing on the couch or I'm in bed trying to sleep myself he's very active. Other than that he's a complete and total mystery to me.

While I'm jumping out of my skin excited to meet him and hold him, at the same time I think I'm going to miss being pregnant very much. It's been relatively so easy for me and I like knowing he's protected from the world but I also know that when he's here my life will be infinitely better.

So, how did I answer my husband's question?

"No. I don't feel like I know him yet. We have a different bond than you two, but everything we need to know and learn about our son we'll do together!"